tortillah:

when your parents call to yell at you:

image

image

image

tastefullyoffensive:

Can’t we all just get along?

Mood:

digitaltits:

*white kid from 90’s tv show on bed throwing baseball up in the air and catching it while staring at ceiling*

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

uhmeliamay:

putting on really tight pants and then realizing you have to pee

image